The storm raged and the Doctor fretted. He was quite surprised when the people, even the children, teased him about his irritability. He told them THEY had expected to stay several days and prepared. HE had not. They handed him clothes. In the middle of the third night, he headed for the hot tubs with them in his hand.

"So, you mad because you can't find out anything?"

He jumped. Tess had just walked in on him. He didn't know whether to...

"I DON'T remember you KNOCKING."

"Didn't. I knew if I gave you a chance, you'd send me away. Looks good. I'll join you."

"What?!"

"Relax, Doctor. I don't bite and I'm interested in hot water and talk, nothing else. You really want to get to something. Your ship? Oh, come on, Doctor, your BODY isn't the temp ours are. You're as alien as outer space. We've all figured it out. What are you?"

He really didn't know what to do. It wasn't a unique experience, but he was SURE the cause was. He abruptly realized he was watching Tess disrobe with rather more interest than he expected, or would have liked. He reminded himself twice more they were of different SPECIES and was rather disgusted when he mentally added "but physiologically compatible" both times. It had never been a PROBLEM before. If she noticed his interest, she ignored it. He was trying hard to do likewise. He found it VERY uncomfortable.

"Now... Mmm, that feels SO good. Who are you? Or, what are you?"

"Who, please. I'm a Time Lord. I have a PENCHANT for landing in the middle of trouble. It gets me into a GREAT deal of difficulty with my OWN people. I'm NOT supposed to get involved."

"Oh, fat chance THAT. You can't resist a mystery OR helping people. I recognize the symptoms. I think it's not mechanical in nature. It's in response to a need. Something needed it warmer and the weather responded. There's something out there, Doctor. It's not exactly inimical, but we're beneath its notice, or outside its perceptions."

"Go on."

"Big. Vast. Not thinking, but aware. But not of us, or mankind in general. The storm is aggravating. Alive, but not life as we think of it. Turn around. I'll massage your shoulders."

"No."

"Oh. Thought I'd do yours, then talk you into doing mine. I strained a muscle moving wood. That's why I came looking for hot water. Truth."

"You are stiff."

"Never lie. Can not say everything, but never lie. Help?"

"I'm NOT comfortable with this situation at all, Tess."

"Contessa Elizabeth. Last name's King. Lots of Indians with that name. The gov handed it out to lots of tribal chiefs. Rub. So, what's your name?"

"I'm THE Doctor. And I am not accustomed to having young human women insist I touch them."

"You're here. I hurt. If you were Sarah, I'd ask a rub. From anybody else too. Can't use my strength to help all if I'm too stiff to move. It's a very practical request. Doctor, I have NO plans to seduce you. Doubt it's possible. Rub?"

He was sure it was a mistake, but he was also quite sure she'd been sincere in what she said and it did make sense. By the time he realized how MUCH of a mistake, he was much too involved in the texture of her skin and the shape of her shoulders, curve of her neck... He wasn't doing well and... The years washed over him and away. The memory of physical love rose in him like an inexorable tide. He was losing control. It had been so very long.

"Tess, go."

She turned and looked into his eyes. Hers widened a bit and she started to rise. She paused, turned back around, pulled his arms around her, then leaned back against him. He fought himself a few seconds longer, then released the passion he'd held bridled for centuries.

"When I hurt you, and I will, you must stop me."

"You hurt me MUCH and I'll slug you. I'm... I just don't do this. Love me."

The Doctor ran his hands over her high firm breasts and his breath caught when she moved her hips back against him. He had her in his arms and was carrying her out of the water before he realized what he was doing. The padded 'deck' around the hot tub was as far as he got with her. He sank to his knees and buried her mouth in a kiss. Later he would smile and note he'd learned a few things from human entertainment media he hadn't realized.

He rediscovered the pleasure of sharing his body with another. It had always been a rare thing for him, as it was for most Time Lords. A race with a lifespan of ten thousand years had to possess less passion, or redirect it far more. In him, it had always been the latter. He pushed slowly into her and learned she had done the same.

Tess whispered, "Gently." and he grabbed for some control. He made love to her in the way he'd forgotten he knew. He slowly brought them both to readiness. When she clamped her legs around him and arched, he plunged into her and lost awareness of everything but the feel of her and the driving need of his own body. The contractions of her muscles as she climaxed brought him in deep, shuddering, spasms. He dropped onto her and held her tightly. He wouldn't realize HOW lost they'd both been until he noticed he'd left as many fingerprints as she had scratches.

"Wow."

"Thank you. It's mutual. And VERY unexpected."

"It certainly was for me, Doctor. When I said I was quite sure this WOULDN'T happen. Don't get me wrong. I'm MORE than delighted. You're already feeling odd about it."

"Tess, I don't do this with women of my OWN species. Or I haven't since... It's been a very long time."

"I've made love exactly five times. To a total of two men. The first was a mistake. You weren't. I'll tell you now I plan on tripping you every chance I get til this is over. Because I doubt I'll see you again and I'll never find anyone else I want. I won't. No one else I've ever met COULD interest me. Oh, I like LOOKING at pretty men, but that's it. I love you."

"You don't even KNOW me."

"Know you'll be here til you figure out what's wrong and fix it, or decide it's over and you won't learn what caused it. Know you'll go somewhere else you're needed and remember me once in awhile. Know you're VERY uncomfortable with the idea of having MADE love, let alone having a lover. Know you're SURE it was a mistake. And I KNOW you liked it."

"I am rather pleased I made it. Tess--"

"Will you blush when I sit on your lap? Are you ticklish?"

"What HAVE I gotten myself into?"

"Me. Mmm, and SOME of you is not unhappy about it. You ARE interesting."

"I am also BARELY getting started."

"Glad I'm not sleepy."

He finally just relaxed and enjoyed it. It was either that or run for the TARDIS and that seemed rather a drastic action, considering one still needed a rope to guide one to the woodshed. Tess had matter-of-factly zipped their two sleeping bags into one and rolled them up together when the long-room had been cleared for the day. He'd winced and Sennick had burst into laughter. He found himself the recipient of broad grins from the men and the women were spoiling him. Sennick, as usual, said exactly what he thought.

"You made her feel NICE. And it was mutual. We all think it's terrific. It's your business, but we're enjoying basking in the warm glow. Tess is a very special woman. We're real tickled. She's having a lot of fun with you."

"She's teasing me unmercifully."

"You like it. You're NEVER expecting her to just sit on your lap, but you like it."

"You have a nasty habit of pointing out the truth, young man."

"Young. I see. I'm going on fifty and you really DO think of that as young."

"Well, I'm really rather young myself, but I do live rather fast. Burning the candle quickly, as it were. I keep getting myself nearly killed."

"You're too good a man not to have made all the right enemies. I did. I'm here because it's the one place mine wouldn't look for a city boy up and coming executive. You're here because something else brought you. But this place will always be here for you, Doctor. Just like it is for me. Of course, that's if we get through THIS."

"Tell me about the enemies, Sennick."

"It's called a government witness protection program, Doctor. I picked the bush and said good-bye. I love my life and a slimy, murdering, son-of-a-bitch is spending the rest of his in prison. It's been nineteen years. I'm no longer dangerous. I can HAVE a family. You can't, but we're here when you need to feel at home. Nobody will mention you to anyone except the Athabascans. We share this place with them. THEY won't tell anyone. Unless they decide you're a story."

"I'm rather too many stories now. Thank you, Sennick. Hello, Joseph."

"Latest weather report says they think the "localized storm center" is weakening. Stu says they're hoping to be able to fly in on Friday. Be nice to get the mail and some things we're running low on. Got a bunch of new videos coming. Ten days of weird hot spell, ten days of weird blizzard. Not much snow, but all of it blowing. More wet than we usually get though."

"And it's not over."

"What makes you say that, Sennick?"

"No one's packing to go home, Joseph."

The Doctor agreed. Tess had said "not inimical", but also "evil". She'd said one was objective and the other subjective. There was something out there and it was growing stronger. He needed to get to the TARDIS. IF he could find it. It might be buried in a four meter drift. If he found it, he was going to move it MUCH closer. His body was complaining nine hundred forty-nine was too old to be sleeping on floors. It didn't seem to be objecting to anything ELSE he thought he was too old for though.

Tess watched him teach the children a game and smiled softly. She'd been absolutely sure there wasn't a man on Earth for her, then she'd yelled for help. She'd gotten a great deal more than she expected. So had he. He felt her watching and looked up. Perhaps he felt her thinking about him. She was quite content with whatever time they had. She was very practical. She'd already gotten more than she expected. She'd found one who touched her mind when he touched her body.

"You were distracting me."

"Sorry?"

"I see. How are the dogs?"

"Very comfortable. We thought Jim was crazy when he built that shed to hold eighty dogs. EIGHTY. Doctor, there are EXACTLY eighty in it. And just enough room for all the families to have rooms, and just enough--"

"What happened to Jim? No one has told me."

"No one really knows. He went out one summer day six years ago and didn't come back. Sarah knew we wouldn't find him. I think we all did. I was still fairly new to the area, but I could feel the pain and hopelessness. Jim was good in the bush and he had a good dog with him. He didn't come back either. I like the hair on your chest."

"Tess "

"Let's go to the spa and lock the door."

"If I'd done that the first time, I wouldn't BE in this situation."

"Probably true. Sure glad you forgot. Come on. Long lazy afternoon. I could ask Joyce if we can borrow their room."

"I'm being blackmailed. The spa sounds very nice."

The Doctor found the TARDIS, but he had to burrow down to get into it. He was rather pleased when he moved it to a little used storeroom in the inn. He was quite surprised when he walked out and Tess was leaning against the frame of the storeroom door.

"It's not quiet."

"No, it's not."

"Going to show it to me?"

"That would take days."

"Your bedroom was all I really wanted to see. And whatever the incredibly sophisticated equipment in there said about the storm."

"It said there was a storm. I just started looking, Tess. I'd have left her where she was if I hadn't been sure you'd all be out looking for me. Flattering, but a bit inconvenient."

"Show me your bedroom."

"I will show you the CONTROL room."

He ended up showing her his bedroom. He wondered at himself. He wondered if the more than twenty years he'd been traveling alone had changed him. He'd never actually done it quite that way before. Oh, he'd traveled alone. He'd spent rather a long time at it during his third regeneration, but he'd also visited many old friends and spent long periods of time with them. This time he had spent twenty years alone, most of it in uninhabited places. Much of it healing his spirit. Much of it avoiding daleks and cybermen. And the Master. And the Rani. And...

Too much had happened after his trial. Too many battles and close escapes. Too much love he had to leave. Too much time wondering if the Valyard really was him or if the Master had lied. Thorough disbelief had never come. He knew the dark side of himself too well. And he knew the time was coming soon when he would find Mel and destroy a species. If the matrix had shown the truth. If it hadn't changed. If...

"Far away and a loop you've been round and round a hundred thousand times and can't get out of."

"An accurate assessment, Tess. The new piece is; why am I so comfortable here. I've been, literally, avoiding people for quite some time. My company can be quite dangerous."

"And you've been used hard for a long time, manipulated and used. You're getting ready to take your life back. You're comfortable with us because we DON'T use people. Even THIS was your idea, not mine. I may grab your hand and pull you into dark corners, but your idea. We all know the time's coming when you're going to start telling us all exactly what to do and we're ready to do it. Doctor, you CAN'T follow anyone else. Jim was like that. The only other I've met who COULDN'T follow. You're warm and relaxed among us because we know who you are here and no place else counts. And our love is without ties. We just give it. Just as you give yours. I don't know why either, Doctor, but we're your real people."

"Perhaps that's true of Earth and humans in general. They're quite my favorite species and this century my favorite time."

"Time, huh?"

"Yes. Tess, if I come back again, you may not recognize me. I change a very great deal."

"Huh, uh! That's DEATH you're contemplating, not change."

"It isn't and it is. In my mind and body is the potential to be others, physical appearance to personality. When I change, I will still be myself, but that self will view other memories as of primary importance and be externally quite different. Even though I continue, it IS death. It's not coming immediately, or at least it shouldn't. I've caught a glimpse of the future and know I've a good friend to make, but I'm using up my lives quickly. And there are a great number of trailing strings."

"Time to just put paid to some people you've given TOO many chances to straighten up and act civilized. Time to quit letting somebody else run things. They're running downhill and don't seem to know enough to put on the brakes. You've been jumping in to keep them from going off the road every time they hit a curve for a long time. You're carefully NOT as powerful as you truly are, but they're forcing you and you dislike it intensely. Doctor, I will always know you. No one else might, but I will. I love you. And only I CAN love you without binding you. Because only I know how many have already done so, billions and billions and more. As individuals, as societies, as worlds, they've wrapped you up in their needs and caring. I couldn't stand it. I ran away. You're much stronger. You just shoulder the load. You'd feel lost without its weight. But I won't add to it. I love you and expect you to leave when it's time. I won't cry and I won't miss you terribly. Every memory will bring a smile. Now, make love to me again and we'll add a few more memories to our smile stockpile."

"Tess, you are wearing me OUT."

"Ha! If we had a YEAR in bed, it wouldn't wear YOU out. You're inexhaustible."

"Shall we find out?"

"Mmm, we could try."

The TARDIS said there was something out there, but she didn't know what it was either. He began a data bank search for any record of like phenomena and they went to dinner. The mail plane was still tentatively scheduled for the next day, but they'd begun to wonder if it would make it. The temperature was rising again.

In the morning, the plane landed very early, unloaded fast and took off again as quickly as possible. The young woman pilot had taken off before dawn and was hurrying. They listened closely to the radio and sighed in relief when she made it home. Warm winds had begun to blow.

The Doctor spent the evening with them all in the common room. The TARDIS had located the center of the disturbance. He would head for it that night. If it was what he thought, he had to get it off Earth. He pinned his hopes he'd live through it on his knowledge he hadn't yet met Mel.

"I'm going with you."

"No, Tess. If I'm right about what I'll find, I have a chance of living through it, but a human wouldn't. It's as you said, not inimical but its presence here makes it evil."

"Like a bug on the ground. You might not even know you're about to step on it, but, to it, that foot coming down is evil."

"Yes, but I'm a bug with a loud voice and a nasty sting."

"You're also bigger than the rest of us. All right, but come back and let us know you survived. Please."

"I shall if I can. If I don't, Tess, don't search for me."

"That's hard to agree to, but I MIGHT be able to convince Sennick and John. Good luck."

"Thank you. I may need more than my usual share."

Tess watched him go. She put out a hand to stop Sennick when he walked by. She intended to increase his chances a bit.

"Get on the radio, Sennick. Contact the villages. He needs luck. Tell them the spirit that protects needs all our good wishes. We'll build it here."

"All we can do?"

"It may be the most important help we COULD give him. He'll try to come back, but we're not to search if he doesn't. He doesn't expect to die, Sennick. He's touched his future, but he doesn't believe it's immutable"

"I'll radio the villages. Get out your flute."

The Doctor barely got out of the TARDIS before he was fighting for his existence. It needed and he had. He battled and turned its attention toward the thing that resisted. The terrible curiosity was overwhelming. He fought for his mind and his memory. Suddenly, he heard a flute and voices raised in ancient song. He wasn't fighting alone.

He organized the thought of aid and pushed it to the front of his mind. He knew where it belonged. This place was wrong. It needed hot winds and minds like its own. He gave it his own knowledge of loneliness and struggled toward it.

He wasn't really surprised when he found Jim and the dog. Or what had been Jim. He was the focus of the power of the child. Jim hadn't been enough to bind it to life, but he'd been the impetus to open the seed. The life on Earth wasn't enough to give it all it needed.

He lifted Jim to his feet and guided him to the TARDIS. The dog followed. Jim held the seed in his arms. For six years they'd been suspended, but now their bodies were deteriorating rapidly. He had little time. He fought the maelstrom of the child's anger when he closed the TARDIS doors and locked it away from the world it didn't know it would destroy. He had just enough strength to set the TARDIS in flight.

When the TARDIS landed, Jim opened the doors and carried the seed out into the blazing day that never ended. His dog sat down beside the seed. Jim returned to the TARDIS and waited for the Doctor to wake. He bore the message.

"Doctor, you have found the lost one. We are grateful."

"I don't know where I am. I don't know who I am."

"We are returning you to yourself. The TARDIS aids. Your memories are rich and flavored with caring. Some are of us Time Lord."

"I'm the Doctor. I'm a Time Lord. You are the life of the nine suns and the world winds."

"Yes. We are sorry this small life cannot be returned, but it has long been an empty shell. It is part of our child and now of us. This is the image of the one who carried our seed to another place. It is strong in your memory and you pity it."

"The Master. Why? How?"

"We do not know, but we surmise its plans for our child were evil. Its memory is of the mind of that one demanding it to acknowledge it as stronger and do its will."

"That's the Master."

"It sought to punish with aloneness and terrible cold. This small one gave life when it would have died."

"But he wasn't enough."

"No, but he gave it time to strengthen. It is learning. As are we. Your kind are the watchers, but you are more. You carefully hide the knowledge of yourself from yourself."

"No! I don't want it all!"

"You cannot flee from it forever, ancient one."

"I am the Doctor. I am in my fifth regeneration. I am nine hundred forty-nine. I am a Time Lord. I am the Doctor. I am in my fifth regeneration. I am nine hundred forty-nine. I am the Doctor."

"We do not understand this, but we will do as you wish. You will not remember until you call it forth. This one asks of those it knew, Sarah and Kipling."

"Sarah? Sarah Jane? No. Sarah... "

"Your memory says the ones it seeks knowledge of are well. Return to them. Say to Sarah, "Jim accepts Sennick." Go now. Good-bye, Doctor."

The Doctor awoke on the console room floor. He was dizzy and confused. He couldn't remember... A message. He had a message to deliver. He opened the doors and fell through them. He had a message. He looked up at the woman who was coming toward him.

"Sarah. Tell Sarah Jim accepts Sennick."

"Doctor! Sennick! Joseph!"

"Sarah. Tell Sarah."

"I will, Doctor."

"Tess?"

"Yes, Doctor."

"Warm, soft. Care?"

"Oh, yes. Yes, I care."

"Damn! Tess, he looks like he's been through hell."

"That may be exactly what he's been through, Sennick."

They watched over him for the near two days he lay staring at something none of them could see. Suddenly he sat up, pulled Tess into his arms and kissed her passionately. Sennick and Sarah shoved people out of the room fast. The Doctor wasn't all there yet, but some part of him had DEFINITELY made it back.

Tess giggled when he suddenly looked at her in surprise. He was himself, but she didn't think he quite knew who she was.

"Welcome back, Doctor."

"Um, I--"

"I'm Tess. And we are VERY good friends."

"We would seem to be."

"Mm, hm. Do you remember this?"

"A flute? Wait, the sound of a flute and chanting. A storm? I was caught in a storm?"

"A storm that shouldn't have been and caused by something that you had to deal with alone."

"A lost child who didn't know... It's gone. We're old friends?"

"We're lovers."

"THAT is obvious. I'm sorry. I don't remember how--"

"Mm, pretty pink. You left to try to find out what was making the weather so odd. It was... You weren't sure you'd survive it. You were gone only a few moments. When you returned, you brought a message from a dead man. You delivered it and collapsed. You lay in this bed and stared at the ceiling for two days. About two hours ago, you kissed me and pulled me into it. Doctor, I can feel your confusion."

"Telepathic? You're human and I'm on Earth. Jim's Place. Jim said... I can't remember. You're my... No. You aren't my companion. I haven't found her. I was lonely because Peri married a king. You have no idea what I'm talking about and I really have no idea HOW I got here."

"In the TARDIS. Oh, you mean HERE. It was your idea. Whoa! Don't run. You're not all back yet. You need help to hang onto physical reality a while longer, I think. Since I'm what you grabbed for, I'm SURE I'm what's most real to you at the moment."

"Oh, you are VERY real. I DON'T have dreams like this. In fact, I don't have THOUGHTS like this."

"It had been a long time for us both. Let's see... Would your age help?"

"Nine hundred fourteen."

"Huh, uh, nine hundred forty-nine. You're missing a good sized chunk of time. Like thirty-five years. Stop. You're trying to remember them and I don't think you want to. You said you'd seen your future and I think you hated knowing it. This is here and this is now. You survived something terrible and you've carried it too long already."

"Yes too long. Tess, this is embarrassing."

"So stop trying to figure out HOW it happened and feel how well we know one another. Let your body tell you. You see? It remembers. Doctor, I love you. Easy! It doesn't bind you. It's freely given and no strings to tangle. It's why we can be lovers. This place is where you're among those who care, but want nothing but your friendship. You already took care of the only thing we couldn't. Now, relax and let your body remember what your mind does not."

Later, he met them all. Children climbed on his lap and told him stories he'd told them. He held an infant he'd delivered. He surprised himself when he noted Lucy was breathing easier and told her father he thought he could safely discontinue the asthma medication. He listened to music and remembered it.

Faces slipped across his memory. Some brought anger and some bittersweet joy. Thirty-five years since Peri had married. He couldn't remember her wedding, but he remembered she was happy. He remembered wonder and joy. And he felt echoes of terror, pain and regret. He remembered love. He laid it all aside. He would remember when he was ready. Tess had said his loss of memory was a gift, not an attack. He trusted her completely. He trusted them all, but he knew he didn't belong among them.

"You're going."

"Sennick, I don't belong here."

"Not exactly. You're a friend. This place is yours to return to whenever you need its peace. Tess will be here. I'll be here. We're spread out in the bush, but this is our center and there's a place for you in it. You're part of us, but you're a wanderer. Doctor, something killed everything outside this compound for miles around. Well, everything we know of. We've found the bodies of a great many animals. Whatever it was, you and Tess sheltered us from its power and you got rid of it."

"It was a lost baby. I took it home and... Nothing."

"Don't try, Doctor. I don't think you want to remember everything. I think you were given respite. The memories will come back when you're ready for them. Doctor, you needed peace so badly. We could only try to share ours with you. It eased you a little to know it existed, but you couldn't really feel it. Something very powerful laid your terrible memories away for a time. Let them rest."

"Tess said nearly the same thing. My memory has always been a bit spotty, but a thirty-five year gap is a VERY big spot."

"Hi, I heard my name."

"I told him to quit worrying about his memory, Tess. He said you'd told him the same thing."

"I did. Doctor, YOU chose not to remember."

"I chose... Yes. Yes, I did. Thank you, Tess. That's the one thing I needed to remember."

"You're ready to leave."

"Yes, but I think I'll be back."

"Don't worry, Doctor. We'll recognize you. Just ask the dogs to be quiet and we'll know you."

"I told Sennick you might be changed when you came back. You know I'll recognize you. Come with me. I have one memory I'M going to refresh before you go."

He left Tess asleep on the padded deck of the hot tub room. She'd been right. His body remembered. And the smell of cedar and sound of hot bubbling water would always bring the memory back. He smiled and flicked a bit of fluff off the TARDIS console. It lurched and wobbled a few seconds then settled. He looked at the screen and winced. The TARDIS had moved. It was in the middle of a lovely garden and a slender young woman with bright red hair was headed for it. She did NOT look pleased. He opened the door and was VERY surprised when she stormed in and ran right into him.

"Just who do you think you are?! You get this thing out of my--"

"Hello, Mel. Ready to go?"

The Doctor smiled. Tess and Sennick had been right. Memories would return when he was ready for them.

It wasn't what you expected?
Ah, but the tales have barely begun to be spun.
Have a cup of fragrant caondea flower wine from Ardelis.
Now on to the next tale.